


Existential Cuddles

by TwentySixNine (1529Jake)



Series: Random, Short Phan AU's [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Cuddles, Cute Phan, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell Has an Existential Crisis, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Existential Crisis, Fluff, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, YouTube, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 02:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1529Jake/pseuds/TwentySixNine
Summary: Just another existential crisis for Dan, but this time Phil joins him on lying on the floor.





	Existential Cuddles

Dan threw the door open and slammed it shut.  There was something about opening and closing the door aggressively that was uniquely satisfying.  He hesitated for a moment wondering if he did both just one more time the feeling of despair in the pit of his stomach would subside.  In the end, he decided that it wouldn’t unless he could do it a thousand times over, but all a second go at it would really do was piss their neighbors off.  Annoyed by the limitations of his new found stress management Dan made his way to the lounger kicking off his shoes and leaving them wherever they happened to fall.  With a low cross between a growl and a sigh he threw his backpack onto the sofa and collapsed to the floor.  He couldn’t even find it in himself to make it to the hallway.  

  
Exhaustion had become him, but he wasn’t tired.  Thoughts he didn’t want ran through his head like excited children on a playground keeping him wide awake but completely tuned out of the world around him.  Every now and then when he’d blink he hoped his eyes would stay closed for an hour or two so he could shut off his mind, but it never happened.  It was just one of those days where the theory of the world weighed heavily on his mind, but its physical existence was easy to ignore.

  
***

 

He hit the tweet button as he shut the door softly behind him.  Part of him was starting to worry because he had texted Dan a few times now with no response.  Checking his messages again he kicked his shoes off and pushed them to the side so they wouldn’t be in the way.  Still nothing.  The worry inside of him grew a little and he started to dial Dan’s number, as he made his way into their flat.  After a few rings, and a few steps something tripped him.  Phil looked down half-expecting to see Dan himself lying on the floor, but it was only one of his shoes.

  
“Dan?”  Phil called out pressing the red circle on his phone’s screen.  There still wasn’t an answer, but he knew that Dan was here somewhere.  Pocketing his phone he made his way to the lounger and made sure to keep his eyes on the ground.  He had learned his lesson one too many times by accidentally stepping on Dan while he was in the midst of one of his many existential crises.  

  
When he made it into the lounger he wasn’t at all surprised to see Dan laying on the ground.  It must have been a really rough day, Phil thought because Dan couldn’t even make it to the hallway.  Quietly, Phil stepped around Dan, who quite honestly probably hadn’t noticed that Phil was even there to begin with.

  
It was usually best to leave Dan alone at times like this so Phil went to his bedroom and started to tidy up a bit for the video he was going to film tomorrow.  As he started to organize his things he thought back on his own day, and it wasn’t a particularly good one.  The more he thought about it the more he wanted to tell Dan what he had done, who he saw, what conflicts arose.  He loved telling Dan about his days, and part of him believed that Dan loved to hear it.  But instead of telling Dan, Phil decided it was best not to say anything at all. 

  
Quickly Phil grabbed two pillows off his bed thinking of the way Dan’s face was pushed into their uncomfortable carpet.  Looking out his window and seeing the dull colorful change of the sky he figured a blanket might come in handy if Dan still hadn’t found the will to stand up by the time the sun officially and fully set, so he ripped his blue and green comforter off his bed as well.  His arms were full as he hurried out of his room.  
Without saying anything Phil laid half the comforter over Dan and placed one of the pillows on his back.  The other pillow he put on the ground next to Dan.  When Phil finally settled himself onto the floor next to him, Dan stopped ignoring the physical world.

  
Neither of them said a word as Dan reached for the pillow Phil brought him and put it under his head, flipping onto his back.  For a few minutes they both just stared at the ceiling, their bodies close but not touching.  Phil was testing the waters every so often he’d move his hand closer to Dan’s but he never actually made contact.  It was odd that Phil didn’t fall into a spiral of boredom, but instead started to feel a sense of solace that had him thinking that maybe, just maybe, Dan was on to something with the whole laying on the floor thing.  He was going to tell Dan that, just as Dan grabbed Phil’s hand and started to play with his fingers.  A tiny smile appeared on Phil’s lips as he let his hand go limp and Dan controlled it. 

  
Another few minutes passed before Dan rolled onto his side and looked at Phil.  His eyes took in every last detail, hoping the theoretical world could be erased if he could just memorize every last detail of Phil’s face.  But, really he wasn’t memorizing Phil’s face, he had done that ages ago, what he was actually doing was looking for changes and trying to decipher what Phil was feeling in that moment.  And once he had taken in every last detail he possibly could, he realized that he knew exactly what Phil was feeling, it was the same feeling Dan was searching for.  Serenity.  And he was sure that the key to finding it, was Phil.

  
Turning over one last time Dan found himself resting his face on Phil’s chest.  The sound of Phil’s heart beating, and the rise and fall of his chest with each breath worked together to sing and rock Dan into sleep.  
Phil smiled down at Dan and held his breath trying to help keep Dan asleep.  Only when he did that, Dan woke and looked up to make sure that Phil was still breathing.

  
“Everything alright?”  Dan asked yawing a little.

  
“Yeah, just rest,” Phil whispered back, rubbing comforting circles on Dan’s back until he drifted back into a dreamscape where the world couldn’t touch him, physically or theoretically.  It took almost an hour for Phil to join Dan in slumber, but before he fell asleep he could see that the moon shining through their window in the lounger was more brightly lit than it usually was.

  
***

  
The sun’s rays danced across their faces as it made its way through the window.  Their faces twitched as they fought against the suns incessant badgering.  Phil was the first to give in and open his eyes, his left arm was partly numb from acting as Dan’s pillow but it was a numbness he could manage.

  
Phil watched the end of Dan’s battle with waking up.  The cut way his nose crinkled, the way his mouth shot downwards in protest, and the way his eyes screwed shut even more tightly before springing open to reveal those beautiful cherry wood eyes made Phil fall even further in love with Dan.  The whole ordeal took Phil’s breath away, if only for a moment.

  
“G’morning,” Dan whispered his voice cracking as the residue of sleep dripped into his words.  Phil couldn’t help but smile at Dan and lean in for a quick peck on the lips.  “Sorry about last night.”

  
“For what?”  Phil questioned as his fingers twirled Dan’s short hair the best it could.

  
“The existential crisis,” Dan said a twinge of mockery in his tone.

  
“You don’t have to apologize for those,” Phil assured Dan the pressure on his bladder slowly growing unbearable.

  
“Well,” Dan said, “thank you then.”

  
“For what?”  Phil asked again with a chuckle.

“The existential cuddles.” 

“You’re very welcome,”  Phil said as Dan placed a kiss on his cheek before standing up.  He reached his hand down to help Phil to his feet, and then the race to the bathroom ensued.  They laughed as they gently pushed each other down the hall, and Phil didn’t even bother closing the door once he made it to the toilet.  It was just the two of them in their own little world, the kind where the theory didn’t hurt, and there was no need to ignore its physical structure.


End file.
